How Dubya Stole Our Civil Liberties

'Tis the season to remember
Why we need to vote in November.

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Every Blue down in Blue-ville
Liked their civil liberties a lot...
But the Dubya and Dick, who ruled Blue-ville,
Did NOT.

That Dubya hated liberties,
He thought they were treason.
Now please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his boots weren't broken in just right.
Or that his new cowboy hat's chin strap was tied on too tight.
But they say the most likely reason of all
Was that his brain was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His boots or his brain,
He stood in his office with a frown oh so plain.
Staring at the protestors out past the gate,
He was afraid that perhaps he was already too late.
Perhaps the right to dissent was already innate.
Perhaps its rescension would make everybody irate.

And just when the Dubya was beginning to cope
With the notion he could never do as he'd hoped,
In slithered the Dick with a smile most unpleasant,
Just come home from hunting his friends and some pheasant.
"Do not despair," said the Dick with a scowl,
"I've got good old Rover out on the prowl."

"But what can the Rover do for our cause?"
"He can make all those people forget what it was
That our country was founded on, and what we'd held dear.
Instead, he can instill in the public some fear.

Fear of minorities, fear of the gays,
Fear of attacks on our doorsteps for days,
Fear of secularists, fear of the Jews,
Fear of anyone who has different views
Of the Bill of Rights and its true definition,
Or of the founding fathers' initial volition."

"And then will the people let us have free reign
So we can go after that oil king, Hussein?"
"Of course," said the Dick, "but if they remain haters
Of our administration, we'll just call them traitors."

And so it was that the Dubya and the Dick
Thought up some lies, and thought them up quick.
They told us of cake and Al-Qaeda and nukes,
Of the inadequacy of diplomatic rebukes,
And just when we thought they'd presented all evidence,
They told us of genocidal attacks without precedence.

In order to help what then seemed a good cause
The people did let that man Dubya bend laws.
So then he could listen to them on the phone,
Or monitor whom they would invite to their home.
Finally, Dubya gave to the Gauntanamo Sarges
People who had been held for weeks without charges.
And so Dubya tried, in spite of global contention
To circumvent the articles of the Geneva convention.

In our prisons, the detainees' questioning was strange,
All with their legal advisors out of range.
They'd be stripped of their clothes, then piled up high,
While the Lindy would watch with a gleam in her eye.
Pointing and laughing, she'd chirp to the men,
"Smile for the camera! And again! And again!"

The Rover meanwhile had been gearing the news
To pander to society's homophobic views.
"They want to get married," he'd shout with a snarl.
But HOW can we allow a Max and a Karl
To legally unite, though in peace and in love,
When that would incur to us wrath from above?"

And though there was still no rationality in sight,
He'd appealed to the people's intractable fright
Of anyone different, whom he could then paint
As someone nefariously attempting to taint
Our society with reason and logic. "That's liable
To make people forget the tales in the Bible."

So then Rover and Dick kept the people at home
From questioning why our young men had to roam
To other lands rife with dissidence and danger,
Just so they could gas up the new Rover Ranger.

Meanwhile, by White House, did gather protesters,
Whom the administration portrayed on television as jesters.
"These people know nothing of war nor of strife.
I'll bet they've never fought anyone in their life."
And the Dick and the Dubya thought that they had won,
Though when it had been their turn to fight, they had both run.

But the protesters stayed, and they yelled and they howled.
They hammered the Dubya with questions, then prowled
The Congress' documents, both the Senate's and House's
Looking for crumbs of these lies too small even for mouses.

And, lo and behold, they came up with tales
Of the lies and deceits, cover-ups and betrayals.
They brought them to light, and the public was shocked.
The foundation of the administration surely was rocked!
"But no," said the Dick with a sly Dickish grin,
"There is no way the Dubya and I cannot win."

And they laughed and they snickered till their snickerers were sore
Till the people voted in a way they hadn't before.
"Maybe voting," they'd said, "shouldn't feel like a chore.
Maybe democracy," they realized, "is worth quite a bit more."

And so that's the story of how the poor Blues
Awakened a country from their years-long snooze
In front of the television, set to Fox News,
To reclaim the House and the Senate, then choose
To celebrate our natural diversity in views
And reclaim our civil liberties and dues.