C++: A Diatribe
Wrecked 'em?! Damn near killed 'em!
And so my day begins: coffee on, computer on, segmentation fault number one, and then the cursing. When I moved into graduate school, I was excited to be introduced to new programming languages. Powerful languages. "User-friendly" languages. Languages to make my life easier and make my research flow from my feverish little fingers as quickly as it did from my feverish little brain. I introduced myself to basic Mathematica in undergrad, then onto Fortran 77 and Fortran 90. The promise was that the next step would send my programming ability into the stratosphere. The next step was C++.
It all started so innocently. C++ batted her eyelashes at me with the "Hello, world!" example code. I responded by stroking her ego with my friends, telling them how this code was much more logical to use than Fortran. C++ kept flirting with me, showing me how little header I needed to use to tell her what I wanted. She let me think she really understood me. All the scientists in my department told me it was time to commit, and that she was the right one. I did. The honeymoon promptly ended.
What I discovered was that I had committed myself to a cruel bitch. She was fickle: what was right today was wrong tomorrow...although she would never tell me directly. She'd let everything compile happily along, just as it did our first few dates. But once I tried to run it, the core dumps and segmentation faults began. Oh, the tears and the frustration: "If only you'd just tell me what you need?!" I began to think about other languages. The other scientists talked me out of it: "We know it's difficult, but you have to tough it out. We all do."
So I tough it out, through the abuse and the tears and the throwing of keyboards (well, almost). My friends try to help me by buying me shot glasses with the words "Core Dump," "Segmentation Fault," and "Oops" on them, laughing as i quickly develop a drinking problem. I discover that this is the object toward which C++ is oriented: ruling the world through their feeling of obligation toward her. It is time to stand up. It is time to walk out. It is better to be alone than be miserable.
For more outright hilarity, as well as anything you'd ever want to know about Baton Rouge, check out this brank spanking new magazine, still with that new site smell!
http://www.brlagniappe.com/
And so my day begins: coffee on, computer on, segmentation fault number one, and then the cursing. When I moved into graduate school, I was excited to be introduced to new programming languages. Powerful languages. "User-friendly" languages. Languages to make my life easier and make my research flow from my feverish little fingers as quickly as it did from my feverish little brain. I introduced myself to basic Mathematica in undergrad, then onto Fortran 77 and Fortran 90. The promise was that the next step would send my programming ability into the stratosphere. The next step was C++.
It all started so innocently. C++ batted her eyelashes at me with the "Hello, world!" example code. I responded by stroking her ego with my friends, telling them how this code was much more logical to use than Fortran. C++ kept flirting with me, showing me how little header I needed to use to tell her what I wanted. She let me think she really understood me. All the scientists in my department told me it was time to commit, and that she was the right one. I did. The honeymoon promptly ended.
What I discovered was that I had committed myself to a cruel bitch. She was fickle: what was right today was wrong tomorrow...although she would never tell me directly. She'd let everything compile happily along, just as it did our first few dates. But once I tried to run it, the core dumps and segmentation faults began. Oh, the tears and the frustration: "If only you'd just tell me what you need?!" I began to think about other languages. The other scientists talked me out of it: "We know it's difficult, but you have to tough it out. We all do."
So I tough it out, through the abuse and the tears and the throwing of keyboards (well, almost). My friends try to help me by buying me shot glasses with the words "Core Dump," "Segmentation Fault," and "Oops" on them, laughing as i quickly develop a drinking problem. I discover that this is the object toward which C++ is oriented: ruling the world through their feeling of obligation toward her. It is time to stand up. It is time to walk out. It is better to be alone than be miserable.
For more outright hilarity, as well as anything you'd ever want to know about Baton Rouge, check out this brank spanking new magazine, still with that new site smell!
http://www.brlagniappe.com/
Labels: C++, computers, languages, programming
posted by meganmcewen at
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